He Never Calls

Q:

How come he doesn't like calling or talking on the phone? He says he likes me and that he doesn't want to break up, but the only time we really talk is when we are face-to-face. I think he is pulling away from me. Am I wrong? What should I do? 

A:

Some guys are just like that. You may also find that some guys will be really phone happy at first and then as they settle into a relationship they will stop calling. It really doesn't mean that they have lost interest, it is (to risk a cliché) a "guy thing."

Mind you, if you feel there is something deeper going on why not ask him? I think that the honest approach is the best one. Just say, "I was wondering , why don't you ever talk to me on the phone?". Could be that he doesn't get much privacy in making his calls or that his parents have a strict limit on the amount of time he can spend on the phone.

If he is trying to send out break-up signals, the only way you will know for sure is to ask. I know it sucks, but if he has resorted to avoidance in an effort to show you he wants out, he isn't likely to be the first one to bring up the subject of ending the relationship.

If everything seems cool when you are face to face I wouldn't worry too much. I think you should just ask him, "What is up with the phone phobia?"

Love or Friendship: How do you choose?

 
 Question Asked By A Girl


I’m dating a guy who is not my normal type. None of my friends can stand him. They all think he is a loser because he dresses differently. His family isn’t rich and can’t afford to get him trendy clothes but I don’t care about that. He’s a great guy and he’s good to me. Why can’t my friends see how good he is for me and be happy for us? Why are they making it so hard? 

 
This is such a common problem especially among teens. The social structure of high school can be unforgiving and patently unfair. All too often the things that make some people “popular” and other people “unpopular” have nothing to do with the substance of the people and everything to do with superficial things like clothing, excellence in sports, or good looks. No matter how often adults tell teens that this kind of thinking is wrong it never changes. It is a combination of immaturity, the closed environment of high school and peer pressure that make this social divide so pronounced among teenagers. But love is often blind to things like this and that is a good thing.

First let me congratulate you for following your heart on this one, you are 100% in the right. If a guy makes you happy and treats you well that is way more important than what he wears or whom he hangs out with. If he is good to you and good for you this is all that matters. But you need to face your friends and their irrational disapproval and that can be a difficult thing to do. Peer pressure is a very influential force, especially for teenagers, and far too many relationships are crushed by the weight of it. Here are some tips to help you stand up to your friends in the name of love:

• Make these your words to live by; the clothes don’t make the man.
• Stand up for your guy whenever your friends cut him down and always remind them that he is good to you. If they are real friends eventually this will sink in and they will support you.
• Insist that your friends include your guy whenever possible and ask them to try to really get to know him for your sake. Again, true friends might protest but in the end they want you to be happy and will at least give him a chance.
• Never sit by silently while your friends criticize your guy. Tell them that you don’t appreciate them being so superficial and then tell them why your guy is so great. Do this every time they put him down. Eventually they’ll get it.
• If your friends, or your guy, ever put you in the position of having to choose between them just refuse to do it. Tell them that they are both very important parts of your life and that you wish they could get along but if they can’t you’ll just have to make time to see them at different times. Then stick to the plan. Never give in to the pressure.

Love can’t conquer all but peer pressure should never be allowed to control you. If your guy is a good guy your friends will come to see it in time. You just need to keep singing his praises and bring him around them as much as possible. If they see how good he is to you first hand eventually they’ll come around.

How Do I Make Him Love Me?

Q:

I have a big crush on this guy in a grade higher than me. We don't have any classes together but we are both in band and on the school paper. I know I love him because I just can't get him off of my mind. At a party I confessed my true feelings and he told me he liked me too - as a friend. He said he just wanted us to be friends right now. I really, really want to be with him, how do I make him love me?

A:

You are suffering from a killer one-sided crush, also known as "unrequited love", and there really isn't much you can do to change it into a relationship. I'll be blunt. You can not make somebody love you. You can't even make them like you. There are no magic spells or secret tricks that will make a person suddenly feel for you the way you feel for them. Love doesn't work like that (and thank the sweet stars above that it doesn't!). Love, when it is real and returned, is one of the most amazing feelings you will ever experience. Although it is hard to accept that this person doesn't return your feelings, it may help you to know that the pain you now feel will be erased from your heart when you find someone who does love you back.

Now back to the issue at hand, coping with your current crush. Since he has made his feelings for you clear, namely that he wants to be friends, you really only have one choice. You have to honor his feelings and wishes. You do however have options as to exactly how you handle the "friendship situation". You can swallow your feelings, move on and work on having "just a friendship" with this guy or, you can harbour your feelings and hope that the future will see your friendship turn romantic. Either way, the one thing you should do is actively take him up on his offer of friendship in spite of your deeper feelings.

Take heart, all is not lost! Friendship is always a good place to start. Right now he only knows a "one dimensional" you, as your friendship progresses he will come to see your many sides. With time, his feelings may even deepen into romatic interest. You say that the two of you are not in any classes together so it is entirely possible that his "Let's be friends!" comment is not a mere brush off, but a bonafide offer. He may want to start as friends because he doesn't know you well enough to have any deeper feelings (a sign that he is a good guy BTW), or he may be using the "friendship line" as a brush off (a sign that he is NOT a good guy BTW). You can't be certain which of these is true until you make a go of the friendship. Work from the premise that he really wants a friendship with you until he indicates otherwise.

By becoming his friend you get the opportunity let him see a new side of you, and you get to see a new side of him. In getting closer you may even fall into a relationship. Of course, the opposite is also true. As you get to know him better your crush, which is built on a fantasy not a reality, may disappear and you may lose interest in him. There are no guarantees that your feelings will stay the same through your burgeoning friendship. There are also no guarantees that his current feelings will change into love. After you become friends you may end up exactly where you are right now, in a one-sided love affair. But at this point in time, what have you got to lose? At the very least you gain a closer acquaintance and at the most you'll get your man!

How To Know If Someone Likes You

All you need for this task is a suspicion that someone is interested in you and a willingness to look a little closer.

 

Difficulty: Hard

 

Time Required: 20 minutes

 

Here's How:

1. Keep an eye on how many times you catch her/him staring at you.
2. Take notice of whether s/he smiles at you a lot.
3. Look for whether s/he focuses on you in a crowd.
4. Observe if s/he has suddenly taken more interest in your friends.
5. Pay attention to any significant changes in her/his behavior toward you recently.
6. Start showing her/him a bit more interest and see how they respond.
7. Have a friend talk to her/him or one of her/his friends about you.
8. Ask, '[name], are you interested in me?'

 

Tips:

1. Hopefully you will not have to use steps 7 or 8, but if you're having difficulty reading her/him, these steps are your last resort!
2. Remember, this is not an exact science, and it may take a few mistakes to perfect your technique

Information Sheet on Love

1. Love does not hurt. Physical and/or emotional abuse are not a part of love.
2. Love is not manipulative, it should not be used to get others to do what you want. You should never give in to demands based on the, "You would do it if you loved me!" tactic.
3. Love is an intense feeling of caring for another person. It can take many different forms (romantic, friendly, familial) but it is always about caring.
4. Although it is true that a big part of love is putting another person's happiness ahead of your own this never includes compromising your values or being untrue to yourself.
5. If somebody asks you to do something that you don't want to do in order to "prove" your love they do not love you the way you might think they do. When you love another person you don't ask them to sacrifice a part of themselves in the name of that love.
6. It is very easy to confuse lust for love. The true measure of romantic love is commitment and trust not physical attraction.
7. It is possible to feel romantic love for more than one person at a given time. Just think, if it is possible for you to love both of your parents at the same time why would it be impossible to feel romantic love for two people at once? Don't beat yourself up emotionally if you find yourself in this unhappy situation. But be sure to remain single and be open and honest with all parties about your feelings and confusion.
8. Sex is NOT love. Love is NOT sex. Sex can be a part of romantic love but it is never mandatory.
9. Romantic love can (and often does) fade. When it goes there is not always a reason. When somebody falls out of love with you it does not reflect upon your value as a person or your desirability.
10. Love should make you feel happy, secure and appreciated.

Surviving the First Fight

First fights are scary things. When conflict arises in a once friction free relationship it always gives way to uncertainty. But the first fight can actually be a positive thing; a defining moment in a relationship that actually makes things more solid.

Falling In Love

In the early days of falling for each other everything is always rosy. People are on their best behavior. While still immersed in the getting-to-know you stage people tend to bend their expectations to the absolute limit of their tolerances and are more forgiving of the things that may later bother them.
Once a comfort level has been reached and there is some security in the relationship that tolerance level shifts back toward an individual’s real life base line. This is what breeds the first fight.

When the Relationship Settles

Once a relationship becomes more established people start showing their true personality. The best behavior honeymoon stage comes to an end, often abruptly and without warning. The sudden shift from best behavior to normal behavior can be a bit of a shock. The first fight usually happens when boundaries are put to the test. In the early days when something unsettling happens both people try to handle things as calmly and diplomatically as possible. Hurt feelings are sucked up and nothing is said.
Once the relationship is more established when those same unsettling things happen the person who is bothered speaks up. With the rules suddenly changed the person on the receiving end of the upset feels confused and defensive. This leads to the first fight.

First Fight: The End or a New Beginning?

It is true that the first fight is the end for some couples but it doesn’t have to be. While first fights are never fun they are actually essential to the evolution of a relationship.
Nobody, no matter how close or how compatible they may be, agrees on absolutely everything. There will be conflict in even the best most successful relationships. What determines the quality of the relationship isn’t whether or not fights happen but how those fights are played out and resolved.
Couples who listen to one another's concerns and perspectives, who respect the other’s point of view whether they agree with it or not, and who work toward finding a compromise, are most likely to make it through the first fight stronger for the experience.

Always Fight Fair

How you fight is as important, if not more important, than why you fight. Violence of any kind is never healthy and should not ever be excused. Hitting, kicking, throwing things and other physical manifestations of anger are unhealthy ways to communicate upset. They accomplish nothing and always do more harm than good. Same goes for name calling or playing the blame-game. Even if somebody is clearly in the wrong it doesn’t need to be harped on. Mentioning a past issue once or twice can lead to resolution but bringing it up over and over can only bring out defensiveness.
One exception is when the person who has done wrong won’t own up to what they have done and apologize, or when they keep doing the same thing over and over. In that case the issue moves beyond bringing up old problems and becomes a question of why the past keeps rising to the surface.

Surviving the First Fight

In order to survive the first fight a couple must be willing to really examine why the fight happened and both people must be ready to make a compromise. The compromise won’t always be equal, one person may have to give more, but compromise not conquest should be the ultimate goal of any conflict. When deciding who should bend there are three important things to ask as a couple; who if anybody was in the wrong, who will be hurt most by having to make a change, and if the change being asked is reasonable and possible.
In the case of clear right and wrong, such as cheating or lying, the person who has done the wrong must be prepared to give up the most in repairing the damage. But rarely are fights started over issues of clear right and wrong. More often than not it is a difference of opinion or a variation in needs that causes couples to fight.

Handling Touchy Situations

Where the issue of right or wrong is not clear, which is usually the case, the question then becomes one of compromise. Just how much compromise or sacrifice should one person make for another? For example, if a girlfriend is very sensitive to friendships with ex-girlfriends the boyfriend needs to ask himself if making her uncomfortable and insecure is worth maintaining those friendships.
If a guy feels those friendships are important enough to be maintained even if it bothers his girlfriend he needs to do everything he can do make his girlfriend comfortable. He can never be secretive about what he does or says to the ex and ideally should bring the girls together.
If a guy feels that it’s not worth damaging a relationship to maintain ties to an ex then the friendship should be put on the back burner.
Whatever issues arise and whatever compromises are made it is essential that the primary relationship always be put first.

How First Fights Make Relationships Stronger

First fights define relationships. They reaffirm the couple’s commitment to one another and if they are worked through properly they can make a relationship stronger. While it is always scary to fight for the first time it is important to acknowledge that fights are normal and that they happen in every close relationship. Why you fight is important but it is how you fight that determines whether or not the conflict will strengthen your bond or stretch it to the limit. Break ups are not the inevitable outcome of the first fight although fearing it will lead to a break up is normal.
If a first fight leads to a break up it simply means the foundation of the relationship was not very strong. For good relationships the first fight will solidify things. By wanting to work through conflict rather than run away couples show each other that they are there for a long time, not just for a good time. This realization is an important one.
First fights don’t have to be negative. They are a sign that your relationship is moving to a new, more intimate and more committed level. Isn’t that a good thing?

3 Things That Only Feel Like Love

Love is a tricky emotion. There are some things that feel like love but they are much too superficial to be the real thing. Real love takes time and doesn't happen over night. Here are three things that people often confuse for love.

Lust

Lust is the feeling that is often mistaken for love at first sight. Lust is an intense and sudden attraction to somebody you hardly know. It is mistaken for love because the attraction is so strong. Lust can feel like love because the feelings of attraction are strong and all-consuming. The emotions stirred up by lust can feel very real but they are based on a fantasy. To love somebody you must know them well but many people fall in lust while they are still strangers. What people in lust fall for is a fantasy of what might be and reality can get lost in the excitement.
Overwhelmed by physical attraction people in lust can't keep their hands off of each other. They think about each other constantly and talk about one another all the time. Lust is a happy feeling brought on by passionate attraction. If you are inexperienced in matters of the heart it is very easy to mistake all that passion for love.
Lust differs from love like night differs from day. Lust happens in the early phase of a relationship when people don’t yet know each other. Lust is based on a fantasy, and the fantasy and reality don’t always mesh up. This is where lust runs out of steam.
Although physical attraction is definitely a key ingredient in any romantic relationship, love is more than just a physical longing. If a relationship is all about physical attraction it is based on lust. Really loving another person takes time and it can't be based on physical attraction alone.

Obsession

Obsessions are often mistaken for love because people rationalize the crazy feelings they are having. They assume that it must be love if the other person is always on their mind. Obsession is similar to lust but it is much more misleading and destructive. While lust is often fleeting, fading as two people come to know each other better, obsession sticks around. The more time and effort invested in an unhealthy obsession the more intense the obsession can become. People in an obsessed state have a one track mind where the other person is concerned and they often lose touch with who they are as an individual. This loss of individuality creates a vicious circle of behavior where the obsessed person grows more and more dependant on the other person to bolster their sense of self.
Even unrequited love, love that is not returned, can become an overwhelming obsession. When one person believes they are in a relationship that doesn't really exist, or when one person is more invested in an existing relationship than the other, the foundation for an obsession has been laid.
Real love is nurturing and helps people grow but obsession is debilitating. If you feel like you have lost yourself, if you are always striving to please your partner without them doing the same for you, and if you find yourself making all decisions in your life based on the feelings and needs of the other person you could be dealing with obsession.

Rebounding

A rebound is a relationship that starts up very quickly after another relationship has ended. Rebounds are rarely based on love but are really a way of alleviating the loneliness people feel when a relationship ends. Rebounding can feel like love for the simple reason that the people involved want to be in love. They are used to the security of being in love and more than anything else they want to feel that security again. They convince themselves that they are in love when they are actually missing the safety and comfort of the relationship they left behind.
If an old relationship keeps interfering with the progress of a new relationship it could mean that the relationship is a rebound. When somebody is on the rebound they are not entirely over their previous relationship. They may still be trying to work out unresolved issues from that relationship. Rebound relationships may feel like love but they are still impacted by unsettled feelings from the past.

Am I in Love?

It is a very common question, "How can I tell I'm in love?", but it is not an easy question to answer. What feels like love to one person may be nothing more than attraction to another. Some people fall in and out of love quickly and often while others are never really in love as much as they are in lust. This can get confusing when you are a teen because romantic love is a relatively new concept for you and you don't know what to expect. You are overwhelmed with all sorts of new feelings and social pressures. They are confusing. What is love? What makes you want a romantic relationship with one person and not another? How does your heart choose a partner? Why does love end? These questions can't be easily answered.

One of the most confusing quasi-love feelings is lust. Lust is a very powerful, very intense feeling of physical attraction toward another person. Lust is mainly sexual in nature - the attraction is superficial based on instant chemistry rather than genuine caring. Usually we lust after people we do not know well, people we still feel comfortable fantasizing about. It is very common for people to confuse lust for love. But why? What is it about lust and love that make them so easy to mix up? If lust is all about sex, how can a relationship without sex be about lust? Teens struggle with this because they see lust in the Biblical sense, but lust isn't that sinister. Lust is about physical attraction and acting ONLY on physical attraction. Love is about much more than that. Yet many teens (and to be fair, many adults) confuse an intense attraction for some sort if divine love. For teens, since feelings of attraction are still new and since pop-culture sells sex and love as one package, it is very easy to get the two mixed up.

Lust is clearly not love. Love is based on more than just physical attraction. Sure, attraction is a factor, but love goes deeper than that. Love is based on caring, friendship, commitment and trust. When you are in love it is as if you have your best most trusted friend at your side AND you feel physically attracted to them. It is the best of both worlds! Love is a shared feeling between two people who have a vested interest in one anothers happiness. Love is not about jealousy. It is not about conflict. It is not about testing. Love is a positive feeling. If it is tainted by mistrust, jealousy, insecurity or spitefulness it is not really love but merely a pale copy. Love is the total surrender of your heart to another person with the security of knowing they will treat it better than you will. Love should feel good. It should not feel bad. Love should make you want to be a better person, it should not lead you to do something self destructive. Love is not demanding of your spirit but lifts it and makes it glow. Love is a good thing. Anything less is lust, deep friendship or attraction. So the sappiness aside, the question remains, how can you tell you are in love?
There is no easy way to find the truth behind your feelings or the feelings of another person but there are some tell-tale signs that love is blooming (or growing deeper). If you agree with 7 of the following 9 statements you are probably in love.

1. You know, because you have been told by your significant other, that your deep feelings are returned in kind.
2. The object of your affections makes you feel special and good about yourself.
3. If/when you feel jealous it is always fleeting; you trust your partner not to betray you or hurt your relationship.
4. Nothing makes you feel as serene as when you and your partner are together.
5. When you fight with your partner you usually make up within a few hours and you always agree that nothing is more important than you both being able to express your true feelings (even if they sometimes cause conflict).
6. Your partner never asks you to choose between him/her and your loyalties to your family and friends - if you do choose him/her over them you always have a good reason and it is always YOUR decision, and your decision alone.
7. Neither you or your partner feel the need to test the other's loyalties or feelings.
8. You are more yourself when with your partner than you are with anybody else.
9. If sex is part of your relationship it is by mutual desire and agreement without the slightest hint of commitment testing or persuasion.

5 Things Your Boyfriend Won't Tell You

1. We like being “the boyfriend.”
   Girls often think that guys are players-at-heart who love the single life and only settle down because society tells them that they have to, but nothing could be further from the truth. Sure there are some guys who get a serious case of the GIGS (Grass Is Greener Syndrome) every time they make a commitment to a girl but these guys are the exception not the rule. We other guys have a word to describe our flakey won’t settle down counterparts – immature. For the most part guys love being in love just as much as girls do.
2. We don’t like when you pull away from us.
   Guys are competitive beasts so you’d think that the hard to get game would make us give chase, and in the beginning stages of a relationship it does, but once we’ve settled in and made a commitment to you we want the chase to stop. If you keep it up, if you keep pushing us away with your right hand while pulling us closer with your left, you’ll quickly find that we start pulling away altogether. Once we open our hearts the game totally changes for us. We don’t want to chase you forever so when you pull away from us, we pull away from you in what amounts to a psychological tug-o-war. The more you pull away the more we respond in kind. Keep it up and everyone just gets tired and calls it quits. So once you’ve landed your guy don’t keep playing hard to get, instead let him know that you’re happy you were caught.
3. We want our friends to like you… but not love you.
   In guy world the approval of our friends is very important so it makes sense that we want our friends to like you. But what we don’t want is for them to covet you. When we hook up with a very hot girl and our buddies ogle her it is a real turn off. This is why so many really pretty girls find themselves single. We just can’t handle the thought of losing you to one of our friends because if that happens we lose our girl, one of our boys and a big chunk of our egos. So if our friends like you and think you're cool that’s great but if they wish they could have you that’s bad. Unfortunately this is totally out of your control. Rest assured that as guys get older we get more secure and this one matters less but in the meantime know this - if you’ve ever been dumped by a guy who you thought really liked you shortly after meeting his friends take comfort in the fact that you were probably just too hot for him to handle.
4. We want you to like, but not love, our friends.
   This one goes along with the other one for obvious reasons but there is a little more to it. Obviously we don’t want you ditching us to be with one of our buddies but we also don’t want you to work overtime trying to win our friends over. Sometimes no matter how great you are our friends will only act luke-warm toward you. This is most likely not your fault and usually has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them but as long as our friends and you can hang out without incident the boyfriend in us is happy. We don’t want you to go out of your way to get our friends to like you because we want your energy focused on us and only us. We don’t want you to care what other guys think about you. We want your efforts and attentions to rest firmly on us. Is that immature? Probably. But hey, we’re guys!
5. We worry that YOU will dump US.
   If there is one thing I see over and over in the girl magazines it’s question after question about how to keep a guy interested but that’s not really very hard. When we like you, we like you and that’s all there is to it. In reality we probably spend more time worrying that you’ll dump us than we would ever spend thinking about dumping you. So relax and stop fixating on how or when our relationship will end and just be our girlfriend. That’s all it really takes to keep a guy happy.

Love

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within
your chest??
-it isn`t love, it`s like.

You can`t keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right??
-it isn`t love, it`s lust.

Are you proud, and eager to show them off?
- it isn`t love, it`s pride.

Do you want them because you know they`re there??
-it isn`t love, it`s loneliness.

Are you there because it`s what everyone wants??
-it isn`t love, it`s loyalty.

Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand??
-it isn`t love, it`s low confidence.

Do you stay for their confessions of love, because you don`t want to hurt
them??
-it isn`t love, it`s pity.

Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat??
-it isn`t love, it`s infatuation.

Do you pardon their faults because you care about them??
-it isn`t love, it`s friendship.

Do you tell them every day that they are the only one you think of??
-it isn`t love, it`s a lie.

Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake??
-it isn`t love, it`s charity.

Does your heart ache and break when they`re sad??
-then it`s l o v e.

Do you cry for their pain, even when they`re strong??
-then it`s l o v e.

Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts??
-then it`s l o v e.

Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and
relation pulls you close and holds you there??
-then it`s l o v e.

Do you accept their faults because they`re a part of who they are??
-then it`s l o v e.

Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret??
-then it`s l o v e.

Would you give them your heart, your life, your death??
-then it`s l o v e.

Red Lipstick Kisses and A Black Eye

My first wife used to cover me with red lipstick kisses before we made love. I must admit, it really turned me on. I would watch her apply it while standing in front of a mirror. After finishing, she would turn to me and begin kissing me all over my face and neck.

One night we had a terrible argument after having too much to drink at a party. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but she had bruised my male ego. We had been at a party that was held both indoors and out. There was a badminton net in the backyard and we started playing. At first, we just volleyed back and forth but we moved on to playing a game. Some women started watching us play and helped keep score. The first game was close but she pulled ahead towards the end and won 15 – 12. She received a loud applause from the women spectators. During the second game, the women really started getting into the game and called the game a battle of sexes. When my wife won decisively (15 - 7), they cheered all the louder. I started to walk off the playing field thinking that we had played enough for the day.
That was when my wife yelled out, "What's the matter? Afraid to get beaten by a woman in front of everyone?"
Hence, I agreed to play another game and got soundly trounced. I think the score was around 15 - 3. We stayed for about two more hours and consumed more margaritas than we should have.

While we were driving home, she kept talking about how much fun it had been. My replies were short and with a bit of an edge. After a while, she became angry about my attitude and things started to escalate. When we got home, it got much worse. At some point, I said something really ugly and she whirled around and socked me right in the eye, knocking me flat on the floor. I'm not sure if I was knocked unconscious or not but the next thing I knew, I was hit by my pillow which she had thrown. She stormed off upstairs and locked herself in our bedroom door while I staggered over to a sofa and fell asleep.

I really should have iced my injured eye before falling asleep because in the morning, it was almost swollen shut. My eye was all bloodshot and there was dark black and blue bruising around. I was so mad at my wife. How was I going to explain this bruised and swollen eye to everyone in the coming week? I think my wife was a little shocked when she saw what she had done. However, she didn't say anything and we stayed clear of each other for most of the day.

In the evening, I was watching football on the television when my wife came into the room dressed rather provocatively with her red lipstick on. She sat down next to me. I tried to ignore her and concentrate on the game but she started kissing my face. I was trying to hold on to my anger but she was wearing me down.

After a couple of minutes, I took a glance at our reflections in a mirror on the wall. She looked at the mirror at the same time and our eyes met. I probably had a dozen large lip prints all over my checks, forehead, neck and everywhere else except near the bruised eye. (It was real sore.) Both of us broke out laughing. Then we started laughing about the whole situation; the badminton game, the argument and the black eye. She got her camera and took a timed picture of us embracing - me with my black eye covered with lipstick kisses. She had it framed and used to show it to her friends and tell them about the story behind it. The funny thing is neither of us could remember what I said before she knocked my lights out. While telling the story, she used to say, "We can't remember what he said, but whatever it was, he knows better than to say it again".

We didn't over-indulge ourselves with alcohol very much after that. I learned not to say hurtful or damaging remarks when we argued. I also worked at overcoming my fragile male ego. The fact was she was a better athlete than I was and regularly beat me in tennis, badminton, volleyball, ping pong and whatever sports that you can name. She even beat me at arm wrestling a few times. I didn't mind so much as long as it was just between us. She came to realize that she had a hot temper and worked to mellow it. I loved that woman.

I lost her to breast cancer after thirteen years of marriage. I sure do miss her.

By Chris

A Gift of Love

The passengers on the bus watched sympathetically as the attractive young woman with the white cane made her way carefully up the steps. She paid the driver and, using her hands to feel the location of the seats, walked down the aisle and found the seat he'd told her was empty. Then she settled in, placed her briefcase on her lap and rested her cane against her leg.

It had been a year since Susan, 34, became blind. Due to a medical misdiagnosis she had been rendered sightless, and she was suddenly thrown into a world of darkness, anger, frustration and self-pity. And all she had to cling to was her husband, Mark.

Mark was an Air Force officer and he loved Susan with all his heart. When she first lost her sight, he watched her sink into despair and was determined to help his wife gain the strength and confidence she needed to become independent again.

Finally, Susan felt ready to return to her job, but how would she get there? She used to take the bus, but was now too frightened to get around the city by herself. Mark volunteered to drive her to work each day, even though they worked at opposite ends of the city. At first, this comforted Susan, and fulfilled Mark's need to protect his sightless wife who was so insecure about performing the slightest task.

Soon, however, Mark realized the arrangement wasn't working. Susan is going to have to start taking the bus again, he admitted to himself. But she was still so fragile, so angry - how would she react? Just as he predicted, Susan was horrified at the idea of taking the bus again.

"I'm blind!", she responded bitterly. "How am I supposed to know where I am going? I feel like you're abandoning me."

Mark's heart broke to hear these words, but he knew what had to be done. He promised Susan that each morning and evening he would ride the bus with her, for as long as it took, until she got the hang of it. And that is exactly what happened. For two solid weeks, Mark, military uniform and all, accompanied Susan to and from work each day.

He taught her how to rely on her other senses, specifically her hearing, to determine where she was and how to adapt to her new environment. He helped her befriend the bus drivers who could watch out for her, and save her a seat.

Finally, Susan decided that she was ready to try the trip on her own. Monday morning arrived, and before she left, she threw her arms around Mark, her temporary bus-riding companion, her husband, and her best friend. Her eyes filled with tears of gratitude for his loyalty, his patience, And his love. She said good-bye, and for the first time, they went their separate ways. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday... Each day on her own went perfectly, and Susan had never felt better. She was doing it! She was going to work all by herself.

On Friday morning, Susan took the bus to work as usual. As she was paying the fare to exit the bus, the driver said, "Boy, I sure do envy you." Susan wasn't sure if the driver was speaking to her or not. After all, who on earth would ever envy a blind woman who had struggled just to find the courage to live for the past year? Curious, she asked the driver, "Why do you say that you envy me?"

The driver responded, "It must feel good to be taken care of and protected like you are." Susan had no idea what the driver was talking about, and again asked, "What do you mean?"

The driver answered, "You know, every morning for the past week, a fine-looking gentleman in a military uniform has been standing across the corner watching you as you get off the bus. He makes sure you cross the street safely and he watches until you enter your office building.

Then he blows you a kiss, gives you a little salute and walks away. You are one lucky lady." Tears of happiness poured down Susan's cheeks. For although she couldn't physically see him, she had always felt Mark's presence. She was lucky, so lucky, for he had given her a gift more powerful than sight, a gift she didn't need to see to believe - the gift of love that can bring light where there is darkness.

Pure Love

Our friendship started from internet. We were just Facebook friends. We chatted daily and became best friends. Her name was Samia and she lived in Canada. I was not much interested in her, i just took her as a friend. She was interested in me more than a friend. She sent me her pics, she was a beautiful girl. I also sent her my pics. We kept on chatting on Facebook. As time passed we started talk on phone.

One day she asked to me, she liked me. I told her, i liked her so much and her friendship is most important than all. She became so glad when she listened that. She was impressed by my personality and with my conversation. She showed her wish to me that she want to meet me in real. I asked her the reason to meet, she said she loved me. I was surprised at her reply. I was not in love with her, i was just doing time pass. But she was seriously fell in love with me. She decided to come Pakistan to meet me. I did not tell her that i was not in love with her. I thought she is cheated me but i was wrong.

She made me a call and told me she is coming Pakistan in next week. I was little surprised,she really came to there for me. But i had decided. She asked me to receive her at airport. I promised her, i will the first person who will meet her at airport. But i did not go to receive her. For few days i did not go online on Facebook. I did not want to had any contact to her because i was not serious with her. She was just time pass for me.

One evening i received a call from an unknown number. There was a girl on other side, she was just crying and was not saying something. I was confused, who is she there? I said hello, hello and hello again but she did not reply. After a while i made a call on that unknown number. Then she said, she is Samia. I was so confused, i thought what i do now? She asked me, why i did not come to receive her. I told a lie to her that my mother was in hospital and i was busy in her care. She agreed with me and said she wanted to see me. I try to put off her but she did not accepted my excuses. So i promised to meet her. Then we decided the day and place.

When the day came, i asked to my friend to meet her and make her clear that I do not love her. She was just my friend and now is nothing. My friend became ready to meet her and went to the decided place. She was already there. When my friend introduced himself with her, she asked for me. He said i had come to tell the truth, that Junaid do not in love with you, he was just your friend. Now you should understand that he is not interested in you.

She began to cry and said, i love him so much, i came there for him and i want to marry him. I had become mad for him and he had become my life. I can’t live without him. My friend tried to made her understand but she was not ready to understand anything. She said to him, if Junaid will not accepted my love i will kill myself.

My friend came to me and told about her. I was so upset after knowing her condition. Then i decided to meet her. When i meet her, she was so weak. She said, she had many friends but she did not love anyone in her life. I was her first love and she do not want to lost her lover.

She was saying and i was just listening her. Her pure and sincere conversation impressed me, then i thought i had done wrong behavior with her. So i decided to marry her. I thought such a sincere girl will not come in my life again. It was just a net love and i had always taken it as time passed.

Innocent Love

Ayed was one of the best student of Mount College. He was much famous in girls. He had an impressive personalty with his tall height, builder body and his beautiful green eyes. He had no interest in girls but girls were mad for him. He did not like the wanton and sprightly girls. He was always in search of simple girl. But he did not find a such girl.

Riba lived in a village. Her parents were dead. Her elder brother always fulfilled her all desires. When she asked for more education in college, he agreed. He took her to city and admitted her in Mount College. She was so simple and well mannered girl. In the beginning she felt hesitation to talk anyone.

One day she went to library to issue a book. She was confused and feeling uneasy. Suddenly, a voice came to her ears. It was a male voice, she startled. She turned and saw a handsome and smart boy was standing and smiling.

He asked, have you any problem? She was agitated. For her satisfaction, he said, I am the president of Library society, may i help you miss? She replied, yes i want to issue a book but i don’t know the procedure. He helped her and issued the book.

She had gone but Ayed was lost in her innocent face. She is so simple and innocent, he thought. Now he was in search of a pretense to meet her. But Riba was not comfortable in his company. She liked him but she remembered the promise which she had made with her brother. She do not want to break his trust.

Day by day Ayed came to close Riba. He felt, he is in love with her.He thought, she is the girl for which he was searching. He had a fear in heart that she will not accept his love. So, he did not express his feelings. She did not want but also came close to him.

One day Ayed expressed his love in front of her. She became sad and said I love you too but i am afraid of my elder brother. He will not accept our love. She began to crying. He said, i will do everything for you. You are my love and my life. I will try to agree your brother. I will face all the troubles for you my dear.

She was free from college, her brother took her to village. She was sad and always think about Ayed. Her brother felt her uneasiness. He asked her, why she is so sad? She replied, no i am all right.

She was much surprised to see Ayed in her house. He was sitting in their drawing room. He was talking to her brother. She went to her room and was confused at his arrival.

After a while her brother came to her room. She was afraid and trembling with fear. She thought her brother will angry with her.
He came and asked her about Ayed. She was silent and began to crying. His brother hugged her and said, are you mad, why are you weeping. Ayed had cleared me the whole situation. He has purposed you. If you want then i will accept his proposal. Don’t you know, i always wanted your happiness.

She showed her positive response. Her brother was happy with her decision. He accepted Ayed’s proposal and be ready to married them.
Ayed and Riba are very happy now. Her simplicity made his life beautiful.