5 Things Your Girlfriend Won't Tell You

 
1. We like the chase – you chasing us.
Yep, it’s sad but true that when a guy is too eager to catch us we wonder why. What is wrong with this guy? Why is he so clingy? Is he a control freak? Is he a serial dater? A player with many girlfriends on the go? Is he insane? It’s not that we don’t want to be caught, we do, we just don’t want to feel trapped and when things happen too fast trapped is how we feel. We need to be sure of our feelings and of our attraction before we can step off the racetrack and give up the chase. You need to woo us to make us yours. Some guys lay out traps, saying all the right things and meaning none of them, in an attempt to woo us and this gives way to our biggest fear; falling prey to an insincere guy who is more about the game than being in a relationship. For this reason even once we’re yours, even once we are sure of your feelings and you are sure of ours, we need to still feel a little bit of the chase. When you chase us we feel like you want us and are willing to do some work to be with us and we don’t want that feeling to go away just because you’ve caught us.
 
2. When we say we’re “OK” or that things are “fine” the opposite is probably true. Girls are communicators. It is hardwired in to our psyches to talk and talk and talk some more whenever there is discord or conflict. So if you sense there’s a problem and gather the courage to ask us and we respond with a “fine” or “it’s ok” or some other sentence with less than 7 (short) words chances are good that we really want to talk. So, you think, what’s a guy to do? You ask a question, you get an answer, and you plan based on that answer. Who wants to read between the lines or guess what is really going on? What a waste of time, right? Wrong! When girls pull the short answers out during a conversation it is because we want you to put the effort in to getting us to open up. It comes from a place of feeling like you don’t usually care what we have to say so we want you to put some effort in to getting us to talk so we can be sure we will be listened to. Now those perceptive guys among you may have your hands up right now waiting to ask the obvious question… if a girl feels like she’s not usually heard isn’t that the REAL problem? Yes, yes it is, and one little talk won’t stop that feeling of being marginalized. In psychology we call this a learned response, a behavior that does not come naturally but rather has been developed through a process called social conditioning. You may very well be the most attentive boyfriend since the dawn of time but if her previous guys made her feel insignificant or unheard you’ll have to help her carry that baggage. Heck, you’ll have to help her unpack it and put it away! So when your girl replies with a curt little answer to your questions don’t take her at face value. Calmly and gently ask her a few more times. Once she feels like you will hear her nature will take over and, voila! You’ll be communicating.

3. We want you to have your guy time.
It is such a myth that girls don’t like to let their guy just hang with the boys. It's a terrible lie perpetrated by relationship-phobes throughout the ages. It is totally untrue that we want you to give up your life to be with us. Think of it this way… when we met you and fell for you, you were (hopefully) single and your friends were a big part of your life. Take your friends away and a big piece of the guy we fell for goes with them. So we want you to keep your guy time. We know you need your friends and truth be told we need our friends too. That being said, obviously when you are single you have lots of spare time to spend with friends but when you are in a relationship some of that time is going to be taken up by your significant other (A.K.A. us). That is only normal. It is normal for you to need your guy time and it is normal for you to want to spend time with us. If you find the right balance the guy-time issue quickly becomes a non-issue. It is when we feel like you don’t make as much time for us as you do for them or that you resent being away from your friends when you are with us that the stereotypical “girlfriend verses the friends” scenario takes the stage. It’s all about balance. Spending time with your friends or with us will never be an issue as long as there is a balance and as long as we never feel that they mean more to you than we do or that they come always first.

 
4. We want to know your friends but aren’t so sure you need to know ours.
I’m not going to lie; this is hypocrisy in its most raw form. We want you to bring us around your friends, we want to know them and we want them to like us, but we aren’t quite as crazy about you knowing our friends. The why of this is as simple as it is irrational and here it is… we want to know your boys so we can understand the kinds of things they may get you to do when we’re not around. In short, will they encourage you to cheat on us, will they get you doing reckless and dangerous things, and will they help you engage in self-destructive activities? What we want to know is if they will be good or bad influences on you. We also want to create a buffer; we want your friends to like us so that they won’t want you to lose us. If there is no tension between your friends and us then we don’t need to fear them asking you to choose between love and friendship. Now on the flip side, we don’t really want you getting all chummy with our friends because we don’t want them to fill you in on all of our dirty little secrets. As previously noted girls are talkers by nature and we don’t want them to let something slip that may make you raise an eyebrow in our direction. We also fear, but will never admit fearing, you wanting one of our friends more than you want us. It’s bad enough to lose your guy to another girl but when that girl was once a friend, well, the sting is even sharper. So allow us this hypocrisy. It’s irrational, that's true, but it’s also quite harmless.
 
5. We worry that other girls look better now that you are in a relationship.
Mike nailed the core of every girlfriend's relationship insecurity on the head when he brought up the GIGS (Grass Is Greener Syndrome). The idea that life is better on the other side is one of the most destructive forces in relationship world and girls feel that guys fall for it way too often. It is a great fear of ours that once you can’t have other girls you will suddenly want them all. It leads to a lot of unfounded jealousy brought on by innocent comments on your part or casual non-flirtatious conversations with other girls. So what’s a guy to do? In a perfect world you’d stop interacting with other girls altogether but our rational super-ego knows that’s not realistic. What you need to do is follow these three simple rules; 1) never pay more attention to another girl than you do to your girlfriend, 2) never comment over and over how hot/cool/nice/fun another girl is, and 3) if you meet a great girl while you’re in a relationship hook her up with one of your buddies (also known as taking her off the market and getting her out of our face). And should you ever really get the itch to jump the fence and live life on the other side... just do it! Don’t lead us on, don’t cheat on us, don’t sneak around, just end the relationship. If it ends up being a GIGS fueled mistake… oh well, consider it a hard lesson learned and leave us alone... we won't want you back anyway!

Red Lipstick Kisses and A Black Eye

My first wife used to cover me with red lipstick kisses before we made love. I must admit, it really turned me on. I would watch her apply it while standing in front of a mirror. After finishing, she would turn to me and begin kissing me all over my face and neck.

One night we had a terrible argument after having too much to drink at a party. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but she had bruised my male ego. We had been at a party that was held both indoors and out. There was a badminton net in the backyard and we started playing. At first, we just volleyed back and forth but we moved on to playing a game. Some women started watching us play and helped keep score. The first game was close but she pulled ahead towards the end and won 15 – 12. She received a loud applause from the women spectators. During the second game, the women really started getting into the game and called the game a battle of sexes. When my wife won decisively (15 - 7), they cheered all the louder. I started to walk off the playing field thinking that we had played enough for the day.
That was when my wife yelled out, "What's the matter? Afraid to get beaten by a woman in front of everyone?"
Hence, I agreed to play another game and got soundly trounced. I think the score was around 15 - 3. We stayed for about two more hours and consumed more margaritas than we should have.

While we were driving home, she kept talking about how much fun it had been. My replies were short and with a bit of an edge. After a while, she became angry about my attitude and things started to escalate. When we got home, it got much worse. At some point, I said something really ugly and she whirled around and socked me right in the eye, knocking me flat on the floor. I'm not sure if I was knocked unconscious or not but the next thing I knew, I was hit by my pillow which she had thrown. She stormed off upstairs and locked herself in our bedroom door while I staggered over to a sofa and fell asleep.

I really should have iced my injured eye before falling asleep because in the morning, it was almost swollen shut. My eye was all bloodshot and there was dark black and blue bruising around. I was so mad at my wife. How was I going to explain this bruised and swollen eye to everyone in the coming week? I think my wife was a little shocked when she saw what she had done. However, she didn't say anything and we stayed clear of each other for most of the day.

In the evening, I was watching football on the television when my wife came into the room dressed rather provocatively with her red lipstick on. She sat down next to me. I tried to ignore her and concentrate on the game but she started kissing my face. I was trying to hold on to my anger but she was wearing me down.

After a couple of minutes, I took a glance at our reflections in a mirror on the wall. She looked at the mirror at the same time and our eyes met. I probably had a dozen large lip prints all over my checks, forehead, neck and everywhere else except near the bruised eye. (It was real sore.) Both of us broke out laughing. Then we started laughing about the whole situation; the badminton game, the argument and the black eye. She got her camera and took a timed picture of us embracing - me with my black eye covered with lipstick kisses. She had it framed and used to show it to her friends and tell them about the story behind it. The funny thing is neither of us could remember what I said before she knocked my lights out. While telling the story, she used to say, "We can't remember what he said, but whatever it was, he knows better than to say it again".

We didn't over-indulge ourselves with alcohol very much after that. I learned not to say hurtful or damaging remarks when we argued. I also worked at overcoming my fragile male ego. The fact was she was a better athlete than I was and regularly beat me in tennis, badminton, volleyball, ping pong and whatever sports that you can name. She even beat me at arm wrestling a few times. I didn't mind so much as long as it was just between us. She came to realize that she had a hot temper and worked to mellow it. I loved that woman.

I lost her to breast cancer after thirteen years of marriage. I sure do miss her.

By Chris

Search for Love

I came from my village to the city in search of job. I was F.A. I could not find any job. My uncle was doing a job of guard in a bungalow. He offered me to do a job there as a driver. I accepted his offer. He called me there.

When I reached at the bungalow.he took me to the owner of the house. He asked about my education. Then he said, can I trust you? I said, yes sir you can trust me. I will never break your trust. He appointed me as a driver. My duty was to pick and drop his daughter to university.

Daily I dropped her at university and also picked her. When she went to university, she had covered her face with veil. I had never seen her face. I had no courage to look at her. As came out of the house, I had put down my eyes. On the way of college, I had never talked to her. I was known i am her servant and she is my owner. It was my duty to respect her.

One day she started to talk with me. I felt hesitation. She said to me, I want to know about you because you are my personal driver. Dad had appointed you only for me. She asked me about my education, my village and about my family. I told her, I am FA; my village is far away of the city. I had a younger sister and father mother in my family. She asked me, do your parents love you. I said, yes they love me so much and I also love them. She said, I am amazed that your parents love you. I asked her, do your parents not love you. She said, it is my personal matter. Then I did not ask her anything. She asked me, did you have interest in poetry? I said I have great interest in poetry; I also have many poetry books. She said, I will come to get a book of poetry. I said, yes of course. We reached at university. She went out of the car, she bend on the front window mirror and said good bye to me. I did not reply and started the car.

Next day she came out of the house. I opened the door of the car for her. She said thanks. I was surprised at her behavior. As she sat in the car, she took down her veil. My eyes fixed on her face. She was so beautiful and pretty. I was just looking at her. She knocked at the mirror of the window. Then I closed the back door. I sat on my seat and started the car. On the way I saw her in the back mirror seen mirror. She was silent today. She did not talk with me. At reaching university, she opened the door and went out. To day she did not say good bye.

I came back but I was lost in her beauty. She over covered my mind and heart. I was waiting for the time of her coming impatiently. I reached at university before time. I was standing out of the car. She was coming towards the car and I was just looking at her. She was smiling and talking with her friend. as she came close the car, her friend said good bye. She looked at me and said, why are you standing out of the car today? I did not say anything and opened the door for her. She smiled and sat on the seat. I closed the door. Sat on my seat and started the car.

When, we reached at home. Her mother was sitting in the lawn. She saw Sana without veil. She asked Sana, why she took down her veil. Sana did not reply her and went in to the house. I was standing there. Her mother looked at me and shouted at me, why you are standing there. I went to my quarter.

In the evening I was laying on the bed. I closed my eyes and her face was in front of me. At once I opened my eyes. She was standing at the door of my room. I stood up and asked her, why she came there. She gave me order and I will present in front of her. She said, I am coming there to get a book of poetry what you like much. I gave her my favorite poetry book. When she saw the book, she said, it is my favorite book. I asked her, you may keep her forever. She smiled and said, now I am going if mother know that she will shouted at me.

Days were passing. We became friends. She shared with me her every problem and also happiness. I liked her in my heart but I can not express her because she was the daughter of rich man. I was their servant. I was happy to see her. She talked to me, smiled at my jokes.
One day I was standing out side in her wait. At once I heard the voice of her mother. She was shouting at Sana. Sana opened the door of house and came out quickly. Her mother was at her back and was saying. If you have any shame then you will not come back to house. I was much surprised to see that. Sana replied, I will fulfill you desire soon. She opened the door of the car and sat on the seat. She ordered to go. I started the car. On the way she asked me to stop on a coffee shop. She came out of the car and said to me to come out. I locked the car and we entered into the coffee shop. We sat on the chairs, she ordered for two cup of coffee.

I asked her, why she bring me there? She said, I want to say something to you. I want to marry you Hassan. I can not live here among these fake personalities. My life destroyed after my mother. I said, after your mother mean? She said, your madam is my step mother. My real mother had dead in my childhood. My father got married with that cruel lady. She did not take me as her daughter. I always endure her misbehavior but now I have no more power to endure her. I like you Hassan; I want to go with you to your village. Where, I will live a free life. Where people love me and did not look at me with hate. She was saying and also crying. I could not say something.

I was just listening her. She asked me, do you like me or not. I became surprised at her question. She asked again. Then I replied, yes I like you but……… she said, don’t say anything. Will you take me to your village? I said, I need some time to think about it. She said, I give you just two days. If you will refuse me then I will go with any other boy of my university. I am a beautiful girl. Any one will ready to take me any where. I was silent. She did not take the coffee and stood up. I also stood up and came out of the coffee shop.

All the night I thought about her. She was so nice girl. If I will refuse her, she will adopt a wrong way, it will very bad for you. I could not understand what I have to do? I could not sleep whole night.

In the morning, I was waiting for her. She came out and said, I will not go the university today. She came near to me and said, you have only one day. Then I will go with any other boy. She turned and went into the house. I was still standing there. I thought, if I take her with me, I will break the trust of my owner. If I refuse her, she will destroy her life. It was most important for me to save her because I love her so much. I decided to take her to my village.

Next morning, I was cleaning the car. She was sitting in the lawn. I felt her eyes were fixed on me. When I had completed my work, I said to her, I had decided. She asked me, what is your decision? I said, I am ready to take you to my village. She became so happy. She said, in the evening we will go but I will not bring any thing from my house. I hate with every thing of that house. I said to her, we do not need of anything.

In the evening she said me to bring out the car. I brought out it and she sat in. we reached at the station. Left the car there and took the ticket for my village. Train had come. We sat in the train. After the journey of night we reached at village. I took her to my home. My parents were so much confused to see her. they became angry with me. They thought I had got married without them.

I told them all about Sana. They were not ready to agree but Sana told them, she had come there in search of love and ease. She promised my parents, she will never give them any pain or sorrow in life. My parents understood her. They accepted her as their daughter in law.

After three days, we got married. We all were very happy. I did not think about her parents. If they came behind us then, what will I do?

One day, her parents came at our house with police. They were reached there by my uncle. They blamed at me I had kidnapped their daughter. But Sana said to the police officer, it is wrong. I had come there with my own desire, he did not kidnap me. Her father said, you have insulted me in the society. I can not face the people. My daughter, you have to go back with me.

Sana replied him; no I am very happy there. I will not go back. Now I am his wife and without his permission I can not go any where. I also have no desire to go back. I am so happy here. It is good for you to go back. You just think I have dead.

Pure Love

Our friendship started from internet. We were just Facebook friends. We chatted daily and became best friends. Her name was Samia and she lived in Canada. I was not much interested in her, i just took her as a friend. She was interested in me more than a friend. She sent me her pics, she was a beautiful girl. I also sent her my pics. We kept on chatting on Facebook. As time passed we started talk on phone.

One day she asked to me, she liked me. I told her, i liked her so much and her friendship is most important than all. She became so glad when she listened that. She was impressed by my personality and with my conversation. She showed her wish to me that she want to meet me in real. I asked her the reason to meet, she said she loved me. I was surprised at her reply. I was not in love with her, i was just doing time pass. But she was seriously fell in love with me. She decided to come Pakistan to meet me. I did not tell her that i was not in love with her. I thought she is cheated me but i was wrong.

She made me a call and told me she is coming Pakistan in next week. I was little surprised,she really came to there for me. But i had decided. She asked me to receive her at airport. I promised her, i will the first person who will meet her at airport. But i did not go to receive her. For few days i did not go online on Facebook. I did not want to had any contact to her because i was not serious with her. She was just time pass for me.

One evening i received a call from an unknown number. There was a girl on other side, she was just crying and was not saying something. I was confused, who is she there? I said hello, hello and hello again but she did not reply. After a while i made a call on that unknown number. Then she said, she is Samia. I was so confused, i thought what i do now? She asked me, why i did not come to receive her. I told a lie to her that my mother was in hospital and i was busy in her care. She agreed with me and said she wanted to see me. I try to put off her but she did not accepted my excuses. So i promised to meet her. Then we decided the day and place.

When the day came, i asked to my friend to meet her and make her clear that I do not love her. She was just my friend and now is nothing. My friend became ready to meet her and went to the decided place. She was already there. When my friend introduced himself with her, she asked for me. He said i had come to tell the truth, that Junaid do not in love with you, he was just your friend. Now you should understand that he is not interested in you.

She began to cry and said, i love him so much, i came there for him and i want to marry him. I had become mad for him and he had become my life. I can’t live without him. My friend tried to made her understand but she was not ready to understand anything. She said to him, if Junaid will not accepted my love i will kill myself.

My friend came to me and told about her. I was so upset after knowing her condition. Then i decided to meet her. When i meet her, she was so weak. She said, she had many friends but she did not love anyone in her life. I was her first love and she do not want to lost her lover.

She was saying and i was just listening her. Her pure and sincere conversation impressed me, then i thought i had done wrong behavior with her. So i decided to marry her. I thought such a sincere girl will not come in my life again. It was just a net love and i had always taken it as time passed.

Madness

Love is beautiful feeling. It make the life beautiful if it has sincerity and fair. When love changed into madness, it destroyed the life of a person. Love is not a game to win anyone.

Raiha was a pretty girl. Her beauty made her proud. She thought, every boy is mad for her, but she did not take them seriously. She always lost in that pride, she is the most beautiful girl of the world. She was beautiful but her pride ruined her whole life.

Ahad was one of the best student of the college. He was an active and intelligent student. He was the apple of his teachers eyes. He was a respected and well mannered boy. He was a humble nature person. All the girls were mad for him but he always far off those girls. His only purpose to get education and make his future bright. He was not interested in love and girlfriend.

One day Raiha struck with Ahad. She lost in his innocent face but did not give any attention to her. He said, sorry and went to his way. Raiha became angry at his ignorant. She thought, all the boys desire for my one sight but he did not look at me for a moment. She decided to make him mad for herself. She said, I will break his pride. But in fact she fell in love with him but she did not ready to accept that true. She was aware of his nature and habits. Ahad did not like the wanton girls. He was popular in college as a noble person. Every girl was knowing his nobility. Raiha took his nobility as his pride. She changed her life style and become a custard apple to impress Ahad.
Ahad was in library. Raiha came there and sat beside him. She said to Ahad, i want to say something. He said, this is library,a place for study not for talking.

She became angry but she controlled her anger. She was waiting for him outside. When he came out of the library. He did not take notice to her. He went to his class room.

Next day he was sitting in a lawn, he was preparing his assignment. She came and asked, may i sit here. Ahad replied, yes sure. She sat and waited, he will say something. But after a while, she started to speak. Ahad i want to say something. He said, yes i remembered, say what you want. She smiled and said, i like you Ahad. He replied at once, thank you so much. She said, you do not understand, what i am saying. Please leave this assignment for a moment and listen me. He stopped writing and fixed his eyes on her face.

She said, Ahad you have changed my life. I always lost in your thinking. I am in love with you and you became my life. I will do everything for you and you can understand, when a girl love someone, he became everything for her. Ahad, if you will not accept my love, i will destroy myself. I can not think about anyone except you.
Ahad was listening everything silently. When she stopped saying. He gathered his books and stood up. She said, give me the response Ahad. He said, i have no answer of your fool affairs. I am not interested in love and these fool matters.

He was an intelligent and wise person. He understood her nature. She was not a sincere girl. But Ahad did not show her that he understood her plan. She shouted, what do you think, i am cheater or flirting with you.

Ahad said, i do not like to have any relation with you. She said, i really love you and i can not live without you. She became mad, when she felt her plan was failed. She tried her best to trap him but failed.

After that day she was completely changed but now she can not express her real feelings. She has lost everything. Her pride and beauty made her life ruin.