12 signs that your crush may be the one.

Like leprechauns and unicorns the search for true love can seem like a fantasy that will never come true, but rest assured, you will find "the one" one day. In fact, as you head down the path of life you are likely to find a few "the ones", that is you are likely to fall in love more than once. How can you tell the difference between love-right-now and the-right-and-true-love? You can't really. Each and every time you fall in love it will feel like the real and final deal and it will be true. Every relationship will have something important to offer you and none, no matter how painfully they may end, will be a waste of your time. Each relationship will teach you a valuable lesson about yourself, your capacity to love, and what you are looking for (and not looking for) in a partner. So how can you tell if the person you are with is worthy of your "true love"? How can you know when a crush has moved beyond lust and in to the realm of love? Here are some sure fire signs that your affair of the heart has reached true love status:

1. You can't help but smile when you see her/him and s/he is always smiling back.
2. You feel comfortable and secure in the relationship and really trust your partner not to hurt you; ie, there is no need for jealousy or suspicion.
3. There have been good times and bad times and through, or in spite of, them all you have remained together.
4. There are no major dramas in the relationship; ie, you do not test one anothers love, engage in relationship foiling gossip or feel the need to play games.
5. You each do kind and thoughtful things for the other "just because" and doing them makes both people feel good.
6. Outside pressures are few and far between; there are none or only minor issues with peers, friends, family and teachers.
7. There is no violence in the relationship at all -- NONE!
8. You enhance one another, neither one of you presses the other to do things that may lead to harm or that the other is opposed to doing.
9. The things that make you different do not push you apart; ie, different religions, cultural backgrounds or personal beliefs.
10. There is no sacrifice, only compromise.
11. Sex or no sex: it doesn't matter, either way it isn't an issue and nobody has been pressured to do something they weren't ready to do.
12. You know that everything you feel is returned in kind by your partner.

Remember, the idea of one true love is romantic but unrealistic. Open your heart to the idea of loving more than one person in your life, think of these relationships as test runs for the final true love, the person you end up spending your life with, and live in the moment. If you get tunnel vision and become obsessed with finding the mystical and magical "one" s/he may just pass you by.

3 Things That Only Feel Like Love

Love is a tricky emotion. There are some things that feel like love but they are much too superficial to be the real thing. Real love takes time and doesn't happen over night. Here are three things that people often confuse for love.

Lust

Lust is the feeling that is often mistaken for love at first sight. Lust is an intense and sudden attraction to somebody you hardly know. It is mistaken for love because the attraction is so strong. Lust can feel like love because the feelings of attraction are strong and all-consuming. The emotions stirred up by lust can feel very real but they are based on a fantasy. To love somebody you must know them well but many people fall in lust while they are still strangers. What people in lust fall for is a fantasy of what might be and reality can get lost in the excitement.
Overwhelmed by physical attraction people in lust can't keep their hands off of each other. They think about each other constantly and talk about one another all the time. Lust is a happy feeling brought on by passionate attraction. If you are inexperienced in matters of the heart it is very easy to mistake all that passion for love.
Lust differs from love like night differs from day. Lust happens in the early phase of a relationship when people don’t yet know each other. Lust is based on a fantasy, and the fantasy and reality don’t always mesh up. This is where lust runs out of steam.
Although physical attraction is definitely a key ingredient in any romantic relationship, love is more than just a physical longing. If a relationship is all about physical attraction it is based on lust. Really loving another person takes time and it can't be based on physical attraction alone.

Obsession

Obsessions are often mistaken for love because people rationalize the crazy feelings they are having. They assume that it must be love if the other person is always on their mind. Obsession is similar to lust but it is much more misleading and destructive. While lust is often fleeting, fading as two people come to know each other better, obsession sticks around. The more time and effort invested in an unhealthy obsession the more intense the obsession can become. People in an obsessed state have a one track mind where the other person is concerned and they often lose touch with who they are as an individual. This loss of individuality creates a vicious circle of behavior where the obsessed person grows more and more dependant on the other person to bolster their sense of self.
Even unrequited love, love that is not returned, can become an overwhelming obsession. When one person believes they are in a relationship that doesn't really exist, or when one person is more invested in an existing relationship than the other, the foundation for an obsession has been laid.
Real love is nurturing and helps people grow but obsession is debilitating. If you feel like you have lost yourself, if you are always striving to please your partner without them doing the same for you, and if you find yourself making all decisions in your life based on the feelings and needs of the other person you could be dealing with obsession.

Rebounding

A rebound is a relationship that starts up very quickly after another relationship has ended. Rebounds are rarely based on love but are really a way of alleviating the loneliness people feel when a relationship ends. Rebounding can feel like love for the simple reason that the people involved want to be in love. They are used to the security of being in love and more than anything else they want to feel that security again. They convince themselves that they are in love when they are actually missing the safety and comfort of the relationship they left behind.
If an old relationship keeps interfering with the progress of a new relationship it could mean that the relationship is a rebound. When somebody is on the rebound they are not entirely over their previous relationship. They may still be trying to work out unresolved issues from that relationship. Rebound relationships may feel like love but they are still impacted by unsettled feelings from the past.

Love

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within
your chest??
-it isn`t love, it`s like.

You can`t keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right??
-it isn`t love, it`s lust.

Are you proud, and eager to show them off?
- it isn`t love, it`s pride.

Do you want them because you know they`re there??
-it isn`t love, it`s loneliness.

Are you there because it`s what everyone wants??
-it isn`t love, it`s loyalty.

Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand??
-it isn`t love, it`s low confidence.

Do you stay for their confessions of love, because you don`t want to hurt
them??
-it isn`t love, it`s pity.

Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat??
-it isn`t love, it`s infatuation.

Do you pardon their faults because you care about them??
-it isn`t love, it`s friendship.

Do you tell them every day that they are the only one you think of??
-it isn`t love, it`s a lie.

Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake??
-it isn`t love, it`s charity.

Does your heart ache and break when they`re sad??
-then it`s l o v e.

Do you cry for their pain, even when they`re strong??
-then it`s l o v e.

Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts??
-then it`s l o v e.

Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and
relation pulls you close and holds you there??
-then it`s l o v e.

Do you accept their faults because they`re a part of who they are??
-then it`s l o v e.

Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret??
-then it`s l o v e.

Would you give them your heart, your life, your death??
-then it`s l o v e.