A Diary from a Guy

 Part 1

*2nd January*
Do you still remember the first time we met? It was the first day in school. I was entering the school gate in a hurry when I bumped into you as you stepped out of a luxurious Volvo. The books you were holding fell all over the ground. I picked up the books quickly and returned them to you along with sincere words of apology. However, you showed me an intimidating look. That gave me an impression that you were a wilful girl born with a golden spoon. I rejected the possibility of being friends with you completely and hoped not to meet you again. Surprisingly, you turned out to be my classmate.

*22nd March*
I begin to know more about you as the days passed and my opinion of you changed for the better with each passing day. I realized that although you are from a wealthy family but you are definitely not a wilful girl. You are nice and friendly. You were angry on the day we first met because I had left a footprint mark on the poetry collection you loved dearly. We met often during lunch breaks and I found something in you that was different from the rest of the girls - your passion for Chinese poetry. You would often mumble something to yourself. Initially, I thought that you were humming a pop song but later, I realized that you were reciting Chinese poems from great poets. You were so knowledgeable that you knew every poet and which poems they composed. I was very impressed indeed.

*5th April*
I met you again in the study area. You were reading the Chinese classic, "Romance of the Three Kingdoms". Your ability to appreciate Chinese classics left me with admiration. You were indeed unique in many ways.

*5th May*
Ever since that day, we would often meet in the study area to discuss about the merits and demerits of the various characters in the Chinese classics. Do you still remember the time when we almost severed our friendship because we could not agree on whether Jia BaoYu hurt Lin Dai Yu? Our argument was so fierce that we stopped talking for a week. But when Friday came, we met in the study area and laughed over the incident. After which we started another petty argument.

*7th Aug*
I could not deny it. It was a feeling I could not identify accurately. Whenever you laughed over a joke with other guys, that emotion filled my senses. It took me a while before I identified it. I was in love; the feeling was jealousy. I felt the need to express it. But I was afraid... That you would dismiss my feelings and we would be stuck in an embarrassing and awkward situation. I kept quiet as I was also afraid that our long nurtured friendship would crumble.
 
*1st Oct*
The news came as a shock to me. I was very worried when I learnt that you had fainted in the canteen. I struggled to keep my worried face in control as I looked at the ambulance that brought you to the hospital.

Part 2

*2nd Oct*
It was drizzling today. Our form teacher announced sadly that you were sick with cancer. As she finished her last sentence, it seemed to me that the drizzle had turned into a downpour outside the classroom. I couldn’t hear anything but the sounds of the raindrops. I rushed immediately to the hospital’s intensive care unit to see you after classes. You looked extremely pale with no signs of any red on your face. I learnt that you had just undergone an operation. The life-support system beside you had tubes piercing mercilessly into your left wrist.
"I am all right. It was just a serious case of anaemia. Believe me, my parents told me that", you said convincingly.
I knew fully well about what you were thinking. You did not want me to be worried.
"Were you comforting yourself or comforting the fears and hopelessness that was written all over my face?” I was not strong enough to disagree with you and I nodded my head with a forced smile. You responded with a smile with great difficulty.

*5th Oct*
It was an ordinary day but to me, it was an important day. I felt an impulse to express my love. I walked over to the side of your bed and held your hand. I told you the story of how an ordinary guy fell in love with a girl who likes poetry and Chinese classics. As I told my story, my eyes were flooded with tears and my voice choked uncontrollably. I ended up breaking into tears.
But you held my head against your body and said with teary eyes, "I understand such a love, so did the girl."
I stopped myself from crying and looked at her. I saw her crying too and for the first time, I saw some redness on her lips.

*26th Oct*
It was the last day of the examinations and I rushed to the hospital to continue my story. When I arrived at the hospital, I saw the nurse tidying up the bed you once slept on. When I asked about you, the nurse told me that you had passed away. It was a bolt from the blue for me. I stood motionlessly for a long time. I hated myself for spending the last few days preparing for the last examination. I hated myself for not staying longer the last time I visited you. I hated myself so much... But you were gone... I couldn't remember how I got home. When I woke up, I was already in my room. The pillow that I slept on was wet. The following day, I went for the funeral. Your father told me that you were still reading the poetry collection I gave you as a gift for your birthday on your last day on earth. Standing in front of your portrait, I had no tears. They were used up on the day of your death. All I knew was sadness. My heart felt as if it was shattered into pieces and had died.

*2nd Jan*
A new girl has taken over your seat. She does not like poetry, but she likes to hum pop songs.
When I asked her if she knows Jia Bao Yu, she replied, "What are you talking about?"
Yes, you were gone. But to me, the seat is still unoccupied, and maybe no one will ever occupy it...

This is a true story that happened 10 years ago!!!! Hopefully, now you will appreciate the meaning behind the phrase, "A person will know what pain is only when he has experienced it..." To cut the whole story short...

If you truly love someone, simply go right up to him or her now to say "I love you" and express your feelings for that person before it's too late!

A guy would rather shed blood than tears because he has yet to experience sadness. The moral of the story is to treasure your love ones because they might not always be around. Share this story to those you cherish the most and let them feel their "presence" is important to us as they are part of our lives!