I want to cheat but I still love my boyfriend!

A Question Asked By A Girl?

Q: Lately I have been really tempted to cheat on my boyfriend of three years. It is not that I don't love him, I'm crazy in love with him, but I just feel really attracted to other guys lately and wonder what it would be like to be with somebody else. Is it OK if I cheat on my boyfriend just to get this out of my system?
 
NO!!!! It is not OK for you to hurt another person in order to satisfy your own needs. To over-use a cliche here, you want to have your cake and eat it too. You want the safety and security of a longterm relationship with the excitement and uncertainty of a new love. Bottom line, you can't have it. Either you end your long term relationship and live the single life until you meet somebody new or you stay with your boyfriend of three years and deal with your cheating heart in your mind. Under no circumstances is it OK for you to test the single waters by cheating on somebody who has loved and trusted you for three years. This is not an option.

When people get the urge to cheat it is usually a signal that all is not right in their current relationship. This is not to say that you do not love your boyfriend. After three years you probably do love him very much, but clearly something is missing for you. Your choices are really cut and dry: figure out what is missing and talk to your boyfriend about it or end the relationship and move on. In talking to him about your feelings expect him to feel a little hurt, he may even decide that he doesn't want to stick around while you sort it all out, but that is the chance you take when you express unhappiness in a relationship to the other party. It is much more likely that he will want to help you through your uncertainty and keep your relationship together, he has invested three years of his life in you and your love.

Can your cheating heart be tamed? Yes, it can but it will take work. You need to identify what it is that is missingin your relationship, decide if you can fix it or move past it, and then decide if you want to put the work in to getting things back on track. These are not easy things to address but it is the only right way to deal with your urge to cheat. f you are not committed to getting past this down point in your relationship you should end it and move on. This is harder than it sounds but that doesn't mean you should disregard it. In reality, very few teen relationships survive in to adulthood and those that do survive have done so because both people have been willing to work through the hard times. All relationships have ups and downs, all relationships face temptations and doubts, the relationships that are meant to be survive these things and those that are not do not.

Don't feel bad if you decide you want to move on, this is not a bad or wrong decision. Breaking up a long term love is painful for both parties but often it is for the best. Cheating on your long term boyfriend to 'test' yourself may seem like a safe option but it will make you feel worse in the long run and will hurt him more if he ever found out. Resist the urge to cheat and decide what to do with your relationship, that is the real issue here. Your desire to cheat is just a symptom of your dissatisfaction in your current relationship. Deal with that and forget about cheating.