A Question Asked By A Boy?
Q: My so-called best friend just started dating my ex. I broke up with her a few months ago but my buddy knows that I still have some feelings for her and that I was thinking of getting back with her. Before I could he snuck in and started dating her. Would I be wrong to try to get her back even though they are a couple now?
Yes, you would be wrong. It sucks when a friend moves in on an ex, especially when there are unresolved feelings, but it is not wrong. She was single because you dumped her. He was single too. If she likes him and he likes her it is silly for you to expect them to stay apart because you loved and left her. It smarts for sure, but other than being a bit uncool your bud has done nothing outrageous here and you have no good reason to try to steal her from him.
Did he know that you wanted her back or did he just think that you had some left over feelings for her? If he didn't know you actually planned on asking her to give you a second chance your going after her now would make you the jerk. You know that they are together where he only knew you had unresolved feelings for her that you may or may not want to act on, can you see the difference? In one case a person (you) is trying to break up a bonafide couple in the other case a person (your friend) is simply making a move while the other person (you) sits and mulls things over.
There is something else you need to consider, something you haven't mentioned, and that is how she feels. You may have had some feelings left for her but did she have any for you? Was she over you? Would she have even taken you back if you asked? Maybe your buddy knew that she didn't want to be with you before he made his move. Have you asked him? It is possible that he would have stayed out of the picture if he thought she would go back to you. You need to ask him about this. Chances are good that since they are a couple now they had a few pre-coupling heart-to-hearts. Maybe he decided to go for her after he learned that you no longer stood a chance. If this is the case he may have saved you some real heart break.
In your shoes I would talk to my friend and find out exactly what went down when he hooked up with my ex. I would ask him if he realized how I felt and if it factored in at all in his decision to start dating my ex. If he really is your best friend chances are good that he didn't make this decision lightly and that his feelings for this girl (and her feelings for him) run pretty deep. Get to the bottom of how it all started before doing anything rash. If he played you, deal with it but don't drag her in to your quest for retribution. Instead wait until she is free and clear again and then make your move. You'll feel better about yourself if you don't go after YOUR best friends girl, even if she used to be yours.